HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

A belated Merry Christmas and a very happy and successful New Year to all of you!!!

Sorry for the time it has taken me to get this latest blog entry out - December has been a tough month for me. Actually, it has been the toughest part of the whole process - and it doesn't make any sense.

The reason it doesn't make any sense for December to be the toughest month is that my son Scott, and I, just returned from Houston on December 20th from a follow up check up and the news was great! All of the doctors were genuinely excited about the results of the tests we had this time. Everything is perfect! All internal repairs have healed properly and the best news is there is no more cancer. As a result of this report, there will not be any more chemotherapy (Thank God) unless something else turns up, which they don't expect.

This is absolutely fantastic news - what more could a person want? I guess until we were down there and actually face to face with the doctors, I wasn't all that sure that everything was okay. The recovery period has really been tough on me.

In fact at one point I scheduled appointments with my own primary care doctor and pulmonary doctor here in Albuquerque as I was certain that something dreadful was wrong. They both examined me, took x-rays, had lab work and both said everything was fine. They both emphasized that I had gone through a very major surgery and considering what I had gone through - everything was great. In fact, they both kind of treated me like some kind of a hero. The pulmonary doctor told me that a lot of people don't survive this surgery. I am sure happy I didn't discuss this with him before the surgery. My primary care doctor is a wonderful person and a wonderful doctor. He is Navajo and has practiced medicine for some time and is very knowledgeable and always takes plenty of time to explain in detail everything about your condition. He said he had patients who had almost every kind of surgical procedure including some of the most extreme involving heart and pulmonary, but he never had a patient who had gone through this particular surgery called the Whipple Procedure. I was his first! He even called me a hero!

Since being discharged from the hospital and coming home for recovery, I have experienced one of the most miserable times in my life. I have had a lot of pain from the incision on my stomach which was nearly 50 staples, then there was a lot of internal surgery where they removed a big part on the pancreas, a large part of the small intestine, my gall bladder and several other things they discovered and didn't know what to do with. Then to do all of this, they had to spread my rib cage apart and that left me with a really sore frontal area which went all the way around to my back.

I worried a lot about all the pain I had and couldn't help but relate what I had gone through to another experience of mine. I am not a handyman. On occasion I have had to try to fix a leaky pipe under the sink or somewhere else in the house. The routine is (1) try to find the tools I need. This is usually a one to two hour process as I finally end up finding the pair of pliers I am looking for in a kitchen drawer because my wife has decided that is a handy place for her to find them when she needs them. Then the nice long screwdriver - it has obviously been used to stir paint and is in a corner in the garage and the crescent wrench is laying exactly where someone dropped it when the finished using it six months ago. (2) go to hardware store to get parts I will need to fix leak. (3), (4), (5) repeat step (2) as I return to hardware store because I got the wrong part or it didn't fit or something else caused it to be a rejection. (6) crawl into a little space under the sink through a door that was made to accommodate a midget, twist around until you are on your back facing the repair job you need to make, your back is killing you because you have your spine resting on the edge of the bottom of the shelf, and now that your are facing the work to be done, you realize your arms are still outside the little cubby hole you have forced yourself into. (7) extract yourself and with careful study and calculations get your arms and tools inside the little space below the sink and start the repair job. (8) let wrench slip at least one time and come crashing down on the bridge of your nose or your forehead, disconnect old pipe and allow stagnant water to pour down on your face and then call your wrench, the sink, and anything else in site - all kinds of horrible names. (9) Complete repair job and extract yourself from the cubby hole and look in bathroom mirror with a sense of pride as you have fixed the leak and it only took nine hours. (10) turn on the faucet and watch as your shoes get wet and everything under the sink is now soaked as water is spraying from six different directions from the one pipe you just fixed. (11) call the damn plumber! He is only going to charge $300.00 but he can't get to you until next Wednesday and you will have to take the day off because he can't say exactly when he will be there - sometime between 7:00 am and 6:00 pm.

Now every time my belly would start hurting - which was almost constantly, I couldn't help but wonder if something might have come loose down there or if something was leaking. They did some major repair work - creating new connections, moving things from one place to another, etc. Did they use enough duct tape, did they tie a double knot on the string, did they get the right pipes connected? They closed me up and didn't leave a window to check on how things were going down there. With my own personal experiences with plumbing mishaps - can you blame me for wondering?

When I first came home they gave me an ample supply of pain medication with few restrictions on using it. I used it extensively for about the first ten days but I didn't like the side affects. I was having goofy dreams, waking up thinking I was in conversation with someone who wasn't even there and then remembering things and not being able to tell if this was one of my dreams or if it actually happened. The pain medicine also made me very lethargic. I was content to sit in a chair all day long and just stare off into space. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't even want to eat. I was very happy to just sit there until I dozed off. I didn't like anything about the pain medicine except it was great for eliminating the pain. But, I decided I would rather deal with the pain than the side affects, so discontinued the pain pills.

In addition to the pain from the surgery, I have a bad back and I just can not lay on my back for more than a few minutes without my back killing me. It is like a body sized tooth ache. When I was in the hospital I was in a hospital bed which hurt my back - but I was on the pain pills and even had an IV that I could turn on any time I wanted to which would increase the pain medication. From the time I was discharged - November 5th, until December 20th - 45 days total, I did not sleep in a bed. I had to sleep in a recliner chair. I could not sleep on either side or my stomach because of the stitches, and my back was now worse than it had ever been because of pulling my ribs apart. The recliner chair was not perfect - in fact I would wake up roughly every hour to hour and a half - but the bed was impossible. This whole thing added to me being tired most of the time too.

The big issue has been my weight. Weight has always been a BIG issue with me, but a little different than what I am dealing with now. Where do you think some unkind person came up with the name - "FAT ALBERT" ? One day someone saw me going into the Post Office and said - "There goes Fat Albert - Hey - that would be a great name for a cartoon character on TV." Another time some big shot military types saw me at the airport and said - "There goes Fat Albert - Hey - that would be a great nickname for that big clumsy looking slow airplane we have in the fleet." Now I am getting even - they are going to have to cancel the TV cartoon and put the airplane in the junk yard. An abbreviated diary of my weight is as follows:

250 - When tumor was first discovered - Feb16th, 2007

245 - First visit to MD Anderson in Houston - Mid May

237 - After two weeks of daily chemotherapy twice a day plus radiation once a day

232 - After 4 eight hour sessions of chemotherapy in Albuquerque

227 - Night before surgery in Houston

209 - Day I was discharged from hospital in Houston

189 - After two weeks recovery at home

179 - Houston on December 20th

172 - Today - December 30th

My weight loss has been just a little under 80 pounds during this time. I have had little to no appetite, almost any food I think about eating just doesn't taste good at all and I can't eat it, and almost anything I eat almost immediately causes pain in my stomach. This adds to my tiredness and lack of interest in doing anything - including things I normally really enjoy doing - like this blog. I also apologize to many of you for not being too responsive to emails since the first of December. I have just been wiped out. Finally I came in one day and discovered I had more than 500 unread emails. I am so very sorry and hope I haven't offended anyone - I have just not had the ambition to do even something so simple as that.

A year ago - 2006 my wife was in London to celebrate New Year's Eve with her granddaughter. I was at home by myself taking care of all the chores, feeding sheep, milking the cows, cooking, sewing, domesticating all over the place. Also at this time we had a record breaking snow fall. We had between 16 and 18 inches of snow at my house. I am sure that amount of snow does not impress many of you, but for Albuquerque - it is a whole bunch. As I said - it was a record breaking snow fall.

Exactly one year ago today, I went out on the drive way and slipped and fell hard on my left knee. This was a knee that needed surgery but they had not done the surgery because of an aneurysm they found behind that knee and an aortic aneurysm they found in my chest. In any event - I now had all this snow to deal with and a knee that was hurting.

They next day - New Year's Eve (while my wife was in London enjoying all the sites, watching the fire works, enjoying champagne, living the life) I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico shoveling snow. As an old farm boy, I wasn't going to mess around with one of those sissy aluminum snow shovels that you would send your wife out with - no way. I had me a big old scoop shovel that you use to move grain with in big heaping loads. I started putting heaping loads of snow on my trusty scoop shovel and hurling the load out into the middle of the street like a man should do. Now this snow was wet so these loads were even heavier than they normally would be. There was a snap - then a sharp pain and then the left arm went limp - as I tore a muscle in my left arm.

New Year's Day - I went to work and we had something like 300 cars we had to move and practically park on top of each other so we could plow the rest of the lot and then move the cars back. Right in front on the show room on the concrete apron, one of my co-workers slipped on the ice and started to go down. I grabbed for him and both of my feet went straight up in the air and I came down on the concrete on the back of my head. Those who were there said my head bounced off the concrete at least six to eight inches.

I spent New Year's day in the emergency room. Did I mention that at this very moment - my wife was in London having a good time while I was in pain in the emergency room?

So, 2007 did not start off in a very positive manner from my point of view. But this wasn't the end. I had been having this shooting pain in my chest for several weeks and finally decided it wasn't going to go away. In fact I started to become a tiny bit nervous about it. So I called the cardiac doctor and left a message that I was concerned there was a problem with my aneurysm. It took his nurse a week or ten days to call back but she said there was no problem. If it was my aneurysm, she said, I would be on the floor. She said she thought it was a hernia and to call my primary care doctor. I left a message with my primary care doctor and it didn't take his nurse long to call me back. I was having lunch with a co-worker and they had just delivered this huge hamburger with french fries and a beer when my cell phone rang. The nurse said they were sure it was my heart because of my medical record. We argued a bit as I assured her it wasn't my heart, but she insisted and told me to get to the emergency room immediately. Are you kidding me? They just brought my hamburger, fries and beer. She called back almost immediately and wanted to know if I had someone to drive me and we got into
another argument as I insisted that I would drive myself and I would go slow.

The date of this little episode was February 16th - just shortly after the start of the year, and I will always remember that date because that is the day of my son Scott's birthday. On this day I spent 7 hours in the emergency room and this is the day they discovered the tumor on my pancreas which turned out to be cancer.

With this kind of beginning in the first 45 days of the year, it would be easy to just give up and go under cover for the rest of the year. However, even though they discovered I had cancer early in the year, this in itself was a blessing and even though I went through some pain and suffering with the treatment prior to surgery, then the surgery, and now the recovery - these events from start to finish have been filled with blessings. First they found the cancer, next I discovered MD Anderson, I had successful chemotherapy and radiation treatment in Houston and in Albuquerque, I had the best of the best for surgeons, I survived the surgery and the very last thing in the report that everything is great and they got all the cancer.

God Bless my family, all of you and hundreds of people - many I don't even know who have made this a truly blessed year for me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!

OPERATION - "OPERATION" (?)

Whenever the FBI or CIA or even the Sheriff's office has any kind of a major activity or event - they call it an operation. They don't just say; "The FBI had an activity last Saturday night and arrested 100 people and confiscated ten tons of drugs". No Sir - it was an operation! I guess this means it was a coordinated event involving a lot of people who all hoped for the same outcome - or something like that. Therefore, in my opinion - my operation is entitled to be referred to as an "Operation". If we were in a Military setting right now we could be talking in code with great secrecy and suspense about - "OPERATION - OPERATION".

HA! - There is certainly nothing very exciting about my operation. We have been discussing my cancer since we fist started going down to Houston in May and you folks have held my hand and kind of led me through this frightening part of life with your love and support. You have all been so very special and important to me as we added one step or phase to the last one. Finally the day did come for the operation and I guess we need to share this event then close the book on this chapter of my life.

I have been a little reluctant to even talk about this last part for several reasons. First, I now realize that many folks - including some of you, have had issues in your lives - including medical issues, that have been so much more severe and challenging than mine. This makes me understand and appreciate how kind you have been to me but also makes me feel like a big wimp for even talking about my issues.

Another problem about talking about the operation is that I wasn't there! Well, of course I was there, but I don't remember squat about the event. I could have been on a trip to the moon for all I knew. I do believe that family members who are close to me took advantage of this opportunity to conspire against me with all the rules and regulations the doctors supposedly passed on to them to enhance my well being during recovery. Like - get up each morning - put hand-cuffs on patient, give stale dry cereal for breakfast and warm brown water (coffee substitute) for nourishment. Convince patient that he would rather listen to gospel music than watch football on TV. Continuously remind patient that he is not allowed to drive automobile for at least another two weeks leaving him with a feeling of helplessness.

It is true I don't remember much and what I do remember is possibly not accurate. I remember going into surgery at night. My son, Scott, remembers taking me in at 5:00 am for surgery and I am sure he is correct.

This was a major surgery with lots of cutting and sewing and clamping etc. This also included a lot of drugs - morphine, codeine and other pain medicines. I have never been through anything like this before and I didn't like it too much. All of a sudden you are dealing with events that are in your mind but are not real. They seem so real it is really a shock when you finally find out it isn't real.

I believe the surgery was around ten hours and they removed a good part of my small intestine and some other parts that seemed to be unnecessary and clamped me back together. I was in intensive care for a couple of days then put in with the main population.

When I was moved into my own room, I mentioned to my Doctor the weird and frightening experience I had in the surgery room. I told him it seemed so real that I was shocked. It was like a dream - I dreamed I was in a nice grey pin striped suite - which I know I was not. I am sure you have seen the heavy duty packaging tape that is like clear plastic and reinforced by little strands of wire or thread to make it stronger. I remember my hands being bound together at the wrist with this tape and I remember twisting and trying so hard to break loose from this tape. I remember hearing voices in the next room and yelling out; "Help me!" and, "Can you hear me?". over and over again. I remember yanking at a hose about three feet long and pulling that hose out of my nose.

As I explained all of this to the doctor he just smiled at me and was very patient and kind. I was embarrassed and apologized and told him I hoped I had not caused any kind of a problem with this wild dream. He very kindly and gently said; "That's okay - don't worry about it. It happens sometimes - you didn't know what to expect." I said; "You don't mean that I actually did and said those things!" He just said - "It's okay - don't worry about it." I guess proof that this actually happened is evident by a big chunk that is missing out of the top part of my left nostril when I pulled the hose out of my nose.

I was moved into a private room where I spent something like the next 20 days. MD Anderson is a nice, new, modern facility which probably has everything that anyone one else has and then some. It is still a hospital room! I was in a lot of pain for the first week and Scott actually stayed there and slept in a chair several nights and then Mary took over and stayed for several nights. - I JUST HAVE TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME - MY FAMILY IS SO WONDERFUL AND HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME AND WORKED SO HARD TO HELP ME BEAT THE CANCER RAP. I AM SO VERY, VERY LUCKY AND LOVE ALL OF THEM SO VERY ,VERY MUCH! This includes all members of my family. My sons, John Leslie in Dallas and Andrew down in Florida, were not able to physically be in Houston for most of this process, but their abundance of love, care and concern was felt and appreciated. My dear 94 year old Mother, my brother, brother-in-law, sister-in-laws, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, grandchildren - everyone of you was more powerful medicine than anything they did on the operating table or anything they could put in a bottle.

At the hospital I continued to have these very real dreams that really shook me up when I realized what was happening. I would be having a very pleasant conversation with someone I knew and it was so real - it was like they were sitting right in front of me. The conversation would reach a point where I would need to take some physical action - give them a business card, write a check, get their address, etc. I would start feeling around on my lap on my chest - anyplace for what I was looking for and suddenly open my eyes to a pitch dark room with no one in it but me. That is really freaky! It really did upset me when this would happen because of the immediate confusion it would cause for me.

(I did come up with one fairly reasonable theory. Because I had such a few friends when I was younger - maybe this is a way to invent friends I could not have had otherwise just to compensate for this lack of love and friendship in the past.)

At the hospital we would be awakened at least six to eight times each night to check blood, oxygen, heart rate, tire pressure or anything else they could plug into. It was hard to get to sleep in the first place and then they would peek through the door and as soon as you closed your eyes, "Okay - Mr. Hurt, we need to check your blood." "But someone else just checked it - you passed them in the doorway as you were walking in. My blood is tired - it needs some sleep."

In our spare time when we were not having our blood checked, they wanted us to exercise. I have something like 40 staples in my stomach, my back hurts, I am having conversations in my room with people who do not exist - and they want me to exercise! The exercise routine was to walk laps. There is this big nurses station right in the middle of the floor with patient rooms all the way around it. We were supposed to take our little tree with the tubes and wires and push this little tree around in this circle to get our exercise. I had a little trouble with this until I started pretending it was a NASCAR event and my car had to pass everyone else. Once I got a little competition involved it made it more interesting.

I proved you can never be too careful. If you aren't careful, one of these days when you least expect it, something will jump up out of the bush and bite you. Example; Some years ago for some event - maybe Christmas - my wife bought me some slippers. Now these aren't just any ordinary slippers - they are bright red fuzzy slippers. Looks like I have a bright red baby lamb on each foot as I stroll down the hall. Whenever I got this gift I quickly decided it was no big deal. I never wear slippers anyway, so I could just kind of slide these someplace where they would not exist and this would be easier than trying to have a discussion about why real men do not wear bright red fuzzy slippers. Little did I dream at the time that one day these bright red slippers would end up in my suit case headed for the hospital where I would be wearing them in front of everyone.

It is bad enough that everyone has to look at the open back side of your nightgown while you are doing your laps, but to call every one's attention to it with your red slippers is way too much. I am out there trying to win a race and this one guy from Jacksonville , Florida kept un-nerving me with comments about my red slippers. I just came here for a little operation, now I need counseling for this personality defect I have discovered.

The last week of October I was released from the hospital to the Rotary House Marriott which is just across the street from MD Anderson. Went in on 27th and had the balance of the staples removed and was released to come home on November 1st. That was a tough day - just packing for a trip, getting the tickets, boarding passes, rental car, suitcases, etc - is a choir. Mary had to do all of this by herself as I was ordered not to lift anything more than three pounds. It was a super tough day for her as she moved around like the energizer bunny. Lots of bumps on the streets, to the airport, on the runway and even in the sky - made trip pretty rough for me. I did spend almost all day Friday in bed and am still hurting, but it will get better.

One final note for those of you who have known me for awhile. Night before last I weighed in at 203 pounds. That is what I weighed in high school! I was right at 250 to 260 when I started this journey in May. I looked in the mirror the other night and just couldn't figure it all out until I realized that the big bulge I was used to seeing on the front of my shirts was not part of the pattern. That bulge was created as the shirt slid down over my front side. Now it is straight up and down from chin to belt. Isn't that exciting? NO! Now I see this old man with all this loose skin who looks like a scare crow. Just can't seem to win!

I will be back in touch - don't know when or how - but do once again thank each and every one of you for making my life enjoyable and worth living because of your friendship.

AL

FINALLY - IT'S ALL OVER - I AM A SURVIVOR!!

Thank God for everything good in my life and especially the past eight months during this battle with cancer. As I look back over these months there are maybe a thousand different stories - some very short, that have meant much to me and from which I have learned so much about myself and life in general. In the next few weeks as I sit around doing nothing,I will share some of these stories with you. I have said many times that I have been so abundantly blessed in so many ways that I almost feel the disease of cancer was in itself a blessing to me as it became a tool to wake me up to so many things I was ignoring or neglecting. One of the most recent blessings came yestereay when I had my final review with the doctors at MD Anderson. First, my operation was a great success and all cancer has been remvoed from my body at this time. Second, all of the signs and indicators for a very successful recovery are present. And, most important, I learned for the first time ever that MD Anderson only accepts 7% of all applicants for this surgery and I was lucky enough to be one of the few that was accepted.

I have learned that every day is a new day with new surprises, and while some of these surprises may seem to be disappointments on the surface, they are often new opportunities and joys which have just been disguised as disappointments. If we face these events in a positive manner and accept them we soon find they were not designed to be disappointments but blessings.

Yesterday was the final day at MD Anderson. We have checked out and are now in the hotel for the balance of the week. We go back on Friday for a final examination and then back to Albuqueruqe on Saturday or Sunday. I won't be doing much as their recovery program calls for one week of recovery for every day in the hospital, which in my case will mean around 15 to 16 weeks of recovery. I will be pretty well limited during this time as I am on a strict diet and no heavy activity (no lifting of anything more than five pounds). For once I am seriously listening to the instructions as I do not want to go through what I have just been through again. In any event, I will be getting more blog entries out within the next few days to bring you up to date.

Thanks to all of you who blessed me with your thoughts and prayers. My apologies for not responding to those of you who wrote or called. I was pretty much out of it for the past couple of weeks.

I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!!

AL

Starting day 5 (after surgery) [from Scott]

Even though I'm writing this instead of my Dad, he is reading your comments so please continue to feel free to respond. Your support is much appreciated!

We've had some pretty rough nights. One of Dad's problems is that he has always had back pain from being in bed for long periods of time. The epidural pain medication is amazingly targeted to specific area and it doesn't help the back pain at all. So occasionally extra medication is needed to make that tolerable.

The folks at MD Anderson are very focused on pain management and are always quick to respond. It's not pain free but at least it's manageable.

Dad has been up and walking laps around the patient area for several days now pushing along his tree full of IVs and monitors with wire and tubes everywhere.

Today they decided his blood oxygen level is high enough without supplemental oxygen that he no longer needs to use the supplemental oxygen. That's one set of tubes down! Actually, his oxygen saturation levels are better than before the surgery I think.

We've been taking turns staying in the room at night and typically you're lucky to get 30 to 45 minutes in between being woke up.

Every day Dad looks notably better then the last. The Surgeon came in today with an associate and told us that the lymph nodes and the "margins" (cutting area where they removed the tumor mass) were cancer cell free. That means it looks like a clean removal and that there wasn't any local spreading of the cancer. All very good news.

Now we try to get of the pain medication and wait for the digestive system to wake up so he can start taking liquid food by mouth. We'll have to watch the blood sugar and see how that works out too.

Cheers,
Scott

Surgery update from MD Anderson [from Scott]

I'm writing this entry because my Father isn't able to yet, and we thought we'd better pass on some status.

Dad had to start fasting Saturday night and we checked into the surgery area around 5 AM on Monday morning. We were able to spend a little time with him, but it was a pretty busy room with about 12 people being prepped for surgery in this first group. They wheeled him back about 7 AM and the surgery started at 8 AM. First they used an laproscopic scope to look at the outside of his stomach to make sure the cancer hadn't spread. It hadn't so they proceeded with the surgery.

We received updates about every 2 hours and finally the surgeon spoke with us when he was done at about 6 PM. Everything went very well. Several biopsies they performed of other areas such as the liver turned up negative. The tumor itself was largely dead tissue from the previous radiation and chemotherapy treatments. They did have to remove a little part of one vein that the tumor was touching, but they were able to sew it back together without needing to reconstruct it with a vein from his leg.

The told us it would take 3 to 5 days for them to check the tissue they removed to make sure that there were no cancerous cells where they cut, which would indicate that they may have left some behind. They believe they had a clean removal.

Dad was in the recovery area receiving dedicated care until about noon the next day (today) when he was moved to a regular room. He's pretty uncomfortable, with a fair amount of pain, even with the epidural pain medication and he has a lot of tubes and wires hooked up to him as well. Right now they are mostly concerned with his breathing and recovering from the effects of being under anesthesia that long.

They hope to be able to get him on his feet soon to help with recovery, but he won't be able to start taking anything by mouth for another day or two.

Once he is feeling up to it, he may dictate an entry to me.

Cheers,
Scott

P.S. My Dad's insurance has decided that if he needs any more CAT scans that he should use the economy method (pictured as follows).

Pancreaticoduodenectomy

This is what is going to happen to me! If I had known this I wouldn't have come!

This means they are going to do a surgical procedure to remove part of the pancreas and part of the small intestine. They may also remove part of the main artery if they find cancer has spread to it.

They gave me a booklet to tell me what was going to happen. It is a good thing they gave me the booklet at the end of the program instead of the first part. It says; "You will have tubes placed during surgery, a jetunostomy tube (J-tube) and a gastrostomy tube (G-tube). A J-tube is a feeding tube that is inserted through the abdomen and into the small intestine. The J-tube is used until you are able to get enough nutrition by mouth. (I don't get any food until the fourth day and that will be clear liquids. My "last supper" will be Saturday night, so that means no food from Saturday night until clear liquids on Thursday. I can hardly wait!) The G-tube is inserted into the stomach and acts as a vent to help control nausea and vomiting. An epiduran lines or tube will be placed in the lower back to give a continuos dose of pain medicine and a tube will be put down my throat to assist in breathing. I will look like a Christmas tree with all these cords hanging from my body - but no lights. I sure hope there is an Angel on the top of the tree.

Most patients stay in the hospital 6 to 14 days. I wonder why?

In addition to this booklet that scares the living daylights out of me, I had to read and sign a form that says I understand all of the potential complications and side-affects, including death!

I thought I was coming down here this time for a visit with the Surgeon prior to surgery. I thought I was going to either be bored stiff or get into a lot of trouble with six days to kill between seeing the surgeon and the operation. No such luck! Today - Friday, is the first day I have had off. I have spent six to eight hours at the hospital each day this week. I had to meet with the Internal Medicine doctor, I had to meet with the Anesthesialogist, I had to make two trips to the lab for blood work and then yesterday I had to spend two hours getting a doplar exam so they could check out and measure all the veins in my legs. They are going to harvest these veins to replace veins they have to cut in my abdomen.

I had forced myself not to think about this surgery and I am glad I didn't have all this information before or I might have gone South. But, I am a tough old ugly guy - so not too much will change I guess. I will still be old, I probably won't be as tough for awhile, and I can't get much uglier - so not too much to change.

I guess I won't be communicating too much in any form for a few days, so I want to thank all of you once again for your support during this past ten months or so. Your friendship has been the best medicine I could ever ask for.

AL

READY FO SURGERY

This will be a quick note just to bring you up to date, and will probably be my last Blog entry for thirty days or so.

Finally got everything cleared. The vascular surgeon here in Albuquerque said there is no problem with my aneurysm as far as surgery is concerned. He feels surgery for the cancer is over-riding any potential problem with the heart. He has conveyed this message to MD Anderson and everything is ready to go - unless we run into another snag of some sort.

I will go to Houston next Tuesday, the 16th, meet with the surgeon the 17th, meet with the rest of the team for prep on Thursday and Friday and go into surgery Monday the 22nd. It is anticipated that I will be in the hospital for ten days and need to stay in Houston until around November 6th. I will come home for a period of recovery with at least one trip back to Houston for follow up sometime in November.

I made it through the radiation and chemotherapy and other procedures with some discomfort, but nothing major. I avoided thinking about the surgery and will continue to try to not think about it. It doesn't sound like it is going to be a pleasant experience, but I know some of you have gone through this kind of thing - and much worse in some cases. I am really not a baby - just a coward!

Right now I have to remind myself that the most unpleasant fact I have to deal with is the fact that too many people know I am a Denver Bronco fan. How embarrassing! However I have found a solution to this problem. When people give me a bad time about being a Bronco fan, I just say; "Oh - I thought you asked if I was a Rockie fan." How about those Rockies!!!!

Anyway - there is no turning back now. Whatever happens is going to happen and I am ready for it. Thanks to all of you for your fantastic support, your thoughts and your prayers and love.

I love you all and will be back to see you soon!

AL

GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS

GOOD NEWS: My last Blog entry was full of good news as far as I am concerned. My cancer is very much under control and I am in a position to have the affected part of the pancreas removed. In addition, it is GOOD NEWS as far as I am concerned that MD Anderson functions the way they do. They gave me radiation and chemotherapy up front to kill as many cancer cells as possible so cancer cells wouldn't spread when they operate. Also, I have talked to many who had surgery before chemo and radiation treatments, and they were too weak to undergo the chemo and radiation treatments after surgery. I am a tough old guy and it was difficult for me to make it through these treatments. I can't imagine doing this while trying to recuperate from surgery. Another element of GOOD NEWS once again relates to the MD Anderson method of doing business. They hold committee meetings with all the people potentially related to the problem to discuss the case. My case came up in the committee meeting, and I was told there were approximately sixteen to seventeen people involved, including five or six surgeons.

The BAD NEWS is that during the committee meeting everyone was quite excited and pleased with my progress and condition as far as the cancer issue is concerned. However, the CAT-Scan revealed that my aortic aneurysm had increased in size and there was a presence of at least one small blood clot. I was supposed to leave for Houston today to visit with the surgeon and prepare for surgery for the cancer. Obviously the trip has been cancelled and I now have an appointment on Thursday with a vascular surgeon here in Albuquerque. The aneurysm must be taken care of before the cancer surgery can be considered and I have a short window of approximately ninety days maximum to get this done.

Another piece of GOOD NEWS was a letter I received yesterday in response to the appeal I filed on the visits that Presbyterian had said they were not going to pay - because "They were not in the system". The appeals people said they were closing my case because Presbyterian had gone ahead and paid all charges. I am sure this is because of the lady who is acting as my Advocate, because Presbyterian's attitude has totally changed. Anyway - that is very good news to me also.

In addition to the GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS related to my health, I had some something else happen which I will put into the GOOD NEWS category. My cousin Bill and his wife Jean went out of their way to come through Albuquerque yesterday to pay us a short visit. Bill and I are the same age - which also means he is a young man, and we were in the same class all the way through school starting in about the third grade. They live in the state of Washington and I think I have probably only seen Bill twice in the past thirty years. It was really good to see Bill and Jean, even though the visit was short. I am afraid I wasn't much of a host because of everything else that was going through my head, but it was a good visit anyway.

Our grandfather Hurt was dead before either Bill or I was born, so neither of us knows too much about him. He was a prominent man and listed in the "Who's Who" for the state of Colorado. He was supposed to be very wealthy and lost most of his wealth on his death bed, as he died during the great depression. He owned a lot of land in Colorado and he had a ranch in New Mexico. I had planned to visit the old ranch site which is down around Elephant Butte, but never got around to doing it. Bill went on the Internet trying to locate the present owners, the location, etc. Bill discovered that the new Space Port, which is partially owned by the owner of Virgin Airlines, is located on the land that was our grandfather's ranch. Kind of interesting, but I am not going to ask for any favors - like a ticket on a space flight. On the other hand, my wife would probably be willing to pay top dollar for such a ticket - for me - as long as it was a one way ticket.

Who knows what will happen next. I suppose I could get an ingrown toe nail, or need to have my tonsils removed for a second time, or even develop hemorrhoids which would further delay my cancer surgery. I really do want to get this thing over with - it will be a year in February. But, the GOOD NEWS items in this report are far greater than the BAD NEWS items, so I think we are going to be okay.

ALBUQUERQUE AL

FINAL APPROACH - READY FOR LANDING!

Just got back from Houston late last night following a couple of days of restaging tests and consultations. Monday was spent getting chest, abdomen and pelvis X-rays, and in the afternoon the dreaded CAT-Scan. Wednesday we met with the Oncologist and reviewed the results of these tests and the progress to date.

Mary went down with me on Sunday and it was a very good trip - full plane between Albuquerque and Dallas and another full plane between Dallas and Houston, so was a little more cramped than I like. On the return flight last night, we had a direct flight from Houston to Albuquerque with a total of 33 passengers on board. The gate agent threatened us that if we each didn't go round up 5 more passengers we wouldn't take off because the 33 of us couldn't pay for the fuel. But we did take off as scheduled. Coming in when we arrived in Houston, we did decide to take a little different route and got off the Interstate right at the street next to Reliant Stadium, the new home of the Houston Texans. We were lucky that the game had been over for awhile and only a few stragglers were still leaving the stadium. Reliant sits right next to the old Astrodome and I remember when I thought the Astrodome was a giant stadium. You could probably put three Astrodomes inside the new Reliant stadium. It has a retractable roof they close if it is over 90 degrees or under 58 degrees. I suppose the close it for rain too - maybe even snow!

We were so hungry by the time we got there we went to a Tex-Mex restaurant. It was okay, in fact I would have probably appreciated it if I didn't know what real Mexican food tasted like.

Tuesday the X-rays were no big deal and I got through those in quick order. They also took some blood and weighed me. Then we go to the CAT-Scan. I have had four or five CAT-Scans in conjunction with this cancer thing. The ones I had at Presbyterian in Albuquerque - you had to take off your shirt. The one at NM Oncology, you didn't remove any clothing. At MD Anderson, you take off everything - including all underwear, except your shoes and socks. Now they have made one improvement. The last time you had to put on one of those gowns with two flimsy stings in the back and a whole lot of fresh air in the back. I can just barely tie my shoes without help - I am supposed to tie those strings that I can't even find back there? I wanted to overlap the gown and staple it shut, but that was not acceptable. I remember last time I wanted to just kind of shuffle down the hall sideways with my back up against the wall, but that didn't appear to be acceptable either. Now they have replaced the gown for men with trousers and a top. They are flimsy too, but at least it is better than the gown. I feel stupid walking around in the outfit to begin with, then you look down and you have a pair of shoes and socks on. It is like putting a neck-tie on a naked man when he goes to the dentist. Of course, those of you who know me realize I am very modest, very shy and very conservative. Or, you might say I am a coward and a chauvinist pig. Real men don't wear silly flimsy pajamas and no underwear down the hall in public!

The dress code is only one of the unpleasant events leading up to the CAT-Scan. They have this stuff (barium) you have to drink so everything on the inside will show up on the CAT-Scan. They usually have a banana flavor and an apple flavor. They announced they were out of both. Then the lady asked, what I interpreted to be, "Do you want a Barium?" I thought that was a stupid question. Of course I didn't want it - but did I have any choice? I just kind of stared at her and she asked the question several times. I finally realized she was asking; "Do you want a berry one?" So I took the berry barium - as if I had a choice. I was given two glasses - I think each one held at least two gallons, and had to drink those down. Then they sent me into another room where I sat around with other partially naked people in recliner chairs and got this thing injected into my arm so they could put iodine into my body during the CAT-Scan. And, those nice people gave me a little bonus. They gave me one more glass of barium. But I did learn one important thing I had never figured out before. You get a straw and you start sucking and just keep sucking and never take a breath til you reach the bottom of the glass. That way you only taste that nasty stuff once instead of each time you take a sip.

Okay - now we go into the room where they scan for cats. They have all kinds of wonderful instruments they use to tell what is inside of you. I won't go into the details, but there is a reason you don't have any underwear on. Dang - that's humiliating! Why don't they just get a flashlight and look down your throat. At least last time I had three male assistants doing the prep. Surprise! No male assistants - one female type is running the whole show. I am sure she is a very nice lady, but I could visualize her as a linebacker for the Green Bay Packers, or perhaps a Drill Sergeant in the Marine Corps. "Okay - Mister, roll over on your side!" If I had known all the little unpleasant exercises I was going to have to endure when I started this whole program, I may have just opted to skip the whole thing.

Finally finished this little exam, got dressed and left that horrible place. Even though I was fully dressed now, for the next few hours I had this self-conscious feeling that I was walking around naked with a pair of shoes and socks on. I just knew everyone was staring at me, laughing at me, pointing to me. No wonder I have crazy dreams and nightmares.

Scott came in Wednesday morning to help keep an eye on me and we picked him up at the airport with me driving the rental car. We had a three way argument about whether I was supposed to turn left or right at the next exit. Actually, it wasn't a three way argument - it was two against one and you can guess who the lone person in the argument was. I won't say who was right, but I could have been right if we were going South instead of North.

We met with my Oncologist in the early afternoon and this is a demonstration of one of many major differences between MD Anderson and Presbyterian. The Oncologist had a complete report including computer graphics on the tests I had the day before. One example of Presbyterian is on two different occasions my wife, Mary, has had an MRI and eleven days later in one case and a week later in another, the MRI had not reached the doctor who was supposed to read it and evaluate what was wrong.

Now the good part! There is a test - I think it is referred to as a CA-19-9 which measures your cancer cells. I don't know what the element of measurement is, but they told me when I first came to MD Anderson it measured 360 - which, according to the doctor, is very high. Because of all the chemotherapy and radiation I have had - plus the fact that I am such a wonderful patient who never violates any of the rules of my diet, exercise, medication and extra curricular activities - the reading has gone from 360 to 30, which I guess is almost a normal reding. And, the tumor was 4.5 centimeters when I started and is 3 centimeters now, and most of the tumor now is liquid with a very small element of cancer in it.

This is fantabulous news to me!!!! We can just skip the surgery - it is almost cured - I can go home and back to my normal way of life. No way Jose!! Between the doctor, my wife and my son, Scott - who by the way is a wonderful son but who has developed a kind of bossy attitude lately - now is the time for surgery. Now that most of these cancer rascals have been killed - we will go in and round up the rest of them and take them prisoner - and I will be cancer free. At least that is the plan.

Actually I think the Oncologist was very surprised at the results (He didn't know I was such a good reliable patient)and he even acted excited about the results. He tried to reach the surgeon, but the Surgeon was in surgery, so the Oncologist said the team would meet today and I was to call the Surgeon for instructions today. They didn't even give me a chance to call. While I was in the airport in Houston, I got a call on my cell phone and they had already made an appointment for me to come back next Wednesday for a pre-operative exam with the Surgeon. It sounds like they are getting ready to sharpen up the knives with the intention of using them within a few weeks. I guess I will go back down by myself Tuesday so I won't have Scott there to take notes to remind me what I am supposed to do and not do. That could be very convenient.

I always worry about the wrong things. For some reason, I have never allowed myself to worry too much about the cancer or the operation. I now worry about how I am going to make it from the airport to the hotel in a rental car without the committee to tell me which direction I am going and whether to turn left or right. I might end up in El Paso. I am also worried about missing out on the International Balloon Fiesta which is coming up in October, and I have a buy one - get one free coupon at McDonalds that will expire if the timing of the operation isn't just right. Dang!

Well, I guess that is all the news I have for now - but it is good news for the most part. They seem to insist they are still going to cut on me, so there goes my chance for a centerfold opportunity in John Deere Quarterly - but that's life.

Love you - God Bless You and thanks for your prayers and thoughts!

AL

FINALLY - BACK TO HOUSTON

I finally finished my chemotherapy in Albuquerque - I think. Got a message today to remind me of an appointment with New Mexico Oncology on next Monday to review everything and consider the possibility of more chemotherapy. Sorry folks - I ain't a gonna be here and if I was going to be here I would find some other reason for not being able to come. The last chemo session on the 10th was the easiest by far but just the accumulation of all the chemicals has made me feel pretty bad until today. I decided I was going to die as soon as I got feeling good enough to do so. But Monday I will be back at MD Anderson in Houston, so forget about talking to me about any more chemotherapy.

In addition to not feeling very good, I have worked as much as I could and have been up late every night working on an appeal to both Presbyterian and a firm called Maximus in New York. Presbyterian is required to file a statement with Maximus if the refuse a request for a referral and then Presbyterian is required to notify me that I can make an appeal to Maximus and they are bound by whatever decision Maximus makes. I spent a lot of time creating this appeal and ended up spending the evening up to midnight several nights trying to put it together and use the right words. Unfortunately my temper got in the way of my good sense a number of times and I would have to go back and redo pieces and parts. When I finally finished, my wife took a brief look at it and rejected it, my son didn't like it and my daughter-in-law offered many changes, so the committee took over. They re-wrote the letter using parts of my initial offering and sent it off. They used the "Dear Sir or Madam" at the top and my name and claim number and "Sincerely" and my name at the bottom and a few of my words in between. At least I guess it is good to know they care.

There are Angels flying above me all the time. In addition to the letter, a lady called and left me a voice message. I have no idea who this lady is, how she heard about me, or knew what my problems were, but her message told me that I needed an Advocate to run interference for me and deal with the doctors and other parts of the medical provider services. She gave me a number to her direct line and told me to call her. I finally got around to calling her and reminded her of her call and told her maybe I needed an Advocate. She immediately told me she would act as my Advocate and she got some information from me and said she would start contacting all parties involved. Within a couple days, I received a letter from my Oncologist, on the letterhead stationary of New Mexico Oncology Hematology Consultants, LTD - with all the doctors names listed, stating that I had finished my chemotherapy treatments and he did recommend me for surgery and recommended that all remaining work, including surgery, be done at MD Anderson in Houston.

I received this letter at home on Friday. First thing the following Monday morning I called MD Anderson in Houston and asked them to request a referral from Presbyterian. I told them I had a letter from Dr. Liebmann suggesting that I needed the restaging exams and surgery at MD Anderson. The lady at MD Anderson replied; "I know - I have that letter right in front of me."
She said she would request the referral. As soon as I got off the phone, my phone rang and it was a lady from Presbyterian calling to tell me they were going to approve my trip to Houston this next week and it would be covered. This is a lady who was assigned to me when I first started having problems with Presbyterian. She is somewhat an advocate and she has been helpful, but she is still on Presbyterian's payroll and a big part of her job is to pacify me and keep me from causing trouble. The fact that she called and gave me approval will make it very difficult for Presbyterian to back out now.

One month ago I had this exact same visit planned and I got it approved ten days before I was to go down. Two days before I was to leave, Presbyterian called and said it wasn't approved and caused me to run all over town to different doctors to get approximately the same exams - not nearly as extensive and thorough. Now Presbyterian is going to pay for me to go and do these exams. This has delayed my treatment by at least one month and it has cost them more money as they did have to pay for these exams in Albuquerque.

As I said, the last chemo sessions was the easiest. In fact it was so easy I went to the Healthplex the next day and walked three miles and did a light workout on the upper body machines. The next day I felt horrible - not from the exercise but from a sick feeling throughout my whole body. That has hung with me for about ten days and finally today I felt almost human again.
The bad thing is that I have lost about eighteen pounds since I first went down to Houston and about thirty eight since a year ago. The thought of any kind of food was nauseating. All of a sudden I have my appetite back. I am like a Hoover sweeper going through the house sucking up almost anything - like sweet rolls, french fries, potato chips, hamburgers, etc. I still don't have an appetite for celery, lettuce, carrots, cauliflower and broccoli. The doctors will be happy I am gaining weight as long as I don't tell them how.

New Mexico Oncology is a very nice new facility in a very nice area. Things got so bad that when I went down Jefferson street and got close to their facility, I would get nauseated. I mentioned this to the doctor and he said this was common. It is called anticipatory nausea.

At my last session, an elderly gentleman next to me had the same experience that I had on my previous visit. The needle came out of his vein and started pumping the liquid directly into his hand. However, they caught it right away and it didn't do nearly the damage that it did to me. The nurse told him he was lucky because at that point all they were giving him was saline solution. She said it could have been dangerous if they were giving him chemo at that point.
KINGS-X, TIME OUT, INSTANT REPLAY - HELLO! I called the nurse over and repeated what she had just said and told her they had pumped chemo into my hand and arm the week before and both got tremendously swollen and they still hurt two weeks later. She kind of dismissed me and my one sided conversation and left to do something else. Now, three weeks later, the swelling has gone down but it is still swollen and it still hurts some.

Only one more day at CarMax for awhile and it can't be too soon. Late yesterday I had a young man in his early twenties come in and wanted a test drive in a $35,000 Mercedes convertible coupe. It has a retractable hard top so nothing would do but we had to put the top down even though it was cold and the wind was blowing. As soon as we got out on the Interstate it started raining. First thing this morning I had a couple of guys come in who looked like they were still in high school and they wanted to look at every car on the lot, which is somewhere around 350. The policy is that you have to stay with your customer even if they are just looking around or killing time. These guys used up a good part of my morning. Then I had something happen that has never happened before. A van from a nursing home pulled up in the parking lot and this older gentleman with a white cane got out and came in. He wasn't totally blind, but his sight was poor. He said he wanted to buy a car. I put him on the golf cart and took him around very slow and finally he held up this bag he was carrying and told me he had 4500 one dollar bills in the bag. I think he probably meant he had 45 one hundred dollar bills, but in any event he had $4,500 in his bag. I apologized and told the man that we didn't have any cars in that price range - most of them don't meet our inspection standards. The least expensive would probably be at least twice that amount. Then I found out he didn't even have a drivers license and explained to him that we couldn't even sell him a car without a drivers license - that is a state law. I felt sorry for the old guy and suggested that maybe he should talk to his banker to see if it was wise for him to try to buy a car, and waited for his nursing home to come and pick him up. Another chunk out of my morning. This afternoon I had a man, wife and three children come in and they wanted a pickup truck. They needed one with a back seat and we found one they liked. It had a dead battery so we decided to take a similar one for a test drive. I told them someone would have to stay there as there were only five seat belts. The lady reminded me there were only five of them. She got a little upset when I said I had to come too, so she and the kids decided they would stay there. Then the man gives me a Mexican drivers license. You can't drive one of our cars unless you have an American issued drivers license. She had a New Mexico drivers license, so we decided to use her license. Then I said, if we were using her license she would have to come and she would have to be the one to drive. She is upset again. Finally we decided the husband and I would go on the test drive but I would do all the driving. I kept asking him questions on the test drive and he would nod and say; "Yah". I thought he wanted a Spanish station on the radio so I found him one and finally figured out he wanted to know how to turn up the air conditioner. I still haven't figured out how I figured that out, but he did say; "Yah" - so I think I must have done the right thing. We got back and through some motions and "Yahs" I finally figured out he still wanted to drive the truck with the dead battery. So, I went back up to the show room and got a battery charger - and walked back across the lot with this heavy thing and jumped the battery so we could go for a drive. Now I think this guy really wanted to buy a truck - it was a good customer. But I was getting exasperated when I had this wonderful thought. How bad do I want to make a sale? Not bad enough! We have a new sales person who is a wonderful person, does a great job - and he is from Mexico. Wham - brainstorm is coming!!
I run back into the showroom - "Ernesto - Ernesto - where are you?" "My wonderful friend, my distinguished colleague, my honorable associate and flawless friend - how would you like to have a gift, a gift of a truck sale with no strings attached - if you can just answer "Yah"?

Now this is bad - but this kind of thing has happened frequently since I started chemotherapy. I am going along great - when all of a sudden I hit this wall. At this point, I just flat don't care. Just let me out of here immediately, if not sooner. This is a time, I have learned, when I just immediately get dead tired, become angry, become sensitive over nothing, and in short become a jerk at times. I have also learned to get out of whatever I am doing immediately and forget it. I love cars, I enjoy selling cars, I love the people and there is a competitive aspect to it also. In the past I have stayed til midnight a few times when we close at 9:00 pm, just to make sure the customer is happy and satisfied. Not now - I will excuse myself and give away a sale rather than try to do something I can't do. However - it is all going to get better after I get past this cancer thing. I will sell cars to people who speak nothing but Japanese, Chinese, or even West Texas when I get through this surgery. I will so overwhelm them with my magnificent personality - they will be speechless and I won't need to understand their language.

We will get back to you after Houston - God Bless you and the very best to all of you!!!!

Albuquerque Al

CHEMO # 3

Chemo #3 is history - at least the activity of having it. The effects of it will probably linger on for some time. It is lingering hard today. I sure hope I run out of numbers pretty soon. I thought this was going to be the last one - but surprise! I get at least one more.

I spoke too soon after #2. I felt great the next day and went to work. Then I worked Wednesday and Thursday with the intention of leaving early, but as luck would have it, customers came in and I got involved in transactions that lasted up to and past closing time. I think I left work around 10:30 PM on Wednesday and around 9:30 PM on Thursday. Thursday at 9:15 PM I was paged to the front desk for customer service. As I approached the desk an old friend came running up screaming and hugged me. It was Cissy King who used to be the lead female dancer on the Lawrence Welk show. She said she wanted to buy a car. I explained we closed in fifteen minutes so she agreed to come back this week. When other sales associates found out who she was, all the old duffs like me came over right away to meet Cissy King. The youngsters had a strange look on their faces - like - "who the heck is she?" Then I had the big week end of touring Albuquerque and Santa Fe and was pretty well worn out all this past week.

I have been trying to figure out why I feel so lousy after these chemo sessions. Just sitting in a chair for eight hours wears me out, but I realized that for all practical purposes - I am spending eight hours getting poison put into my system. You can feel the effect of this almost immediately and it just gets worse.
I did have a meeting with the doctor this session and he is pleased with my results but surprised that I am even trying to work. He said the protocol I am following is a very heavy duty dose of chemo. I do know I am one of the first ones there and by the time I leave, almost everyone else is gone and some of them come in half way through my session. It creates a real strange sensation for me. I feel guilty for just kind of dragging through the day after I have had the session and procrastinating on doing things I should do, but I really don't have the energy or interest in doing anything. I also feel guilty because I know of people who have had it a lot worse than I am having it. I have heard of people going through chemo for 14 weeks, 17 weeks, 24 weeks, etc. I will go for four - but no more!!

I am still having a battle with Presbyterian. They now say they never approved surgery at MD Anderson, but they have said that at the end of my chemo session if they get a request from MD Anderson for a referral and if my chemo doctor says I should go there, they will consider doing it. My chemo doctor did say that he would report that I do need surgery and that he recommends MD Anderson. MD Anderson has already said this is the only way I have a chance of surviving - so I think I have a pretty strong case. I am going in any event - whether they want to be gracious and pay for it or not. I also have a lawyer lined up who specializes in Medical Malpractice - just in case.

It has taken a lot of time and energy to do battle with Presbyterian in addition to everything else, but I guess that is the way it is going to be. So, I guess I am looking at surgery sometime in October or early November.

Had another little incident with this chemo. I realized there was a funny sensation in my left hand. I looked down and my left hand was swollen to almost double it's size and my left arm was swollen. It looked like I had a boxing glove on my left hand. There was no pain but it looked like my skin would split if the swelling got any greater. I called the nurse over and for some reason the needle had come out of my vein and the chemo was just going directly into my hand and up my arm. It is a good thing I had taken my watch off and transferred it to my right arm before we got started or they would have had to cut my watch off. That would have been another $13.95 down the drain.

Those who know me well and who have noticed, know that I have very large hands. People never come up to me and say; "Golly you are good looking", or "You sure are a handsome man", or that is a "great haircut" or a "beautiful shirt".
Everyone says the same thing - "Damn - those are the biggest hands I've ever seen." This all comes from hard labor as a youngster where I dug potatoes with my bare hands, mined coal with my bare hands, dug trenches with my bare hands, and even ate with my bare hands. At milking time, as soon as I walked into the barn the cows would all take off running. I get criticized and I guess it is against the law, but I drive with my index finger. I just stick it between the spokes of the steering wheel and twirl that wheel around with one finger. So, anyway, I have huge hands to begin with and now my left hand is twice it's normal size. I realized I had a problem right away because I normally eat with my right hand and am careful to pick my nose only with my left hand. Now my left hand is swollen beyond the capacity of my nostril - so this means double duty for my right hand. I haven't eaten much today - partly because of the affect the chemo has had on my stomach and partly because I can't eat my normal diet of potato chips and hamburgers and hot dogs without using my hands. You just can't eat potato chips with a spoon or fork. As you can see, there is more to my stress than meets the eye.

My son Scott called today and said it probably wasn't good to have all this chemo just wandering around in my hand and arm and that I should call the doctor. My garage door broke and I got tied up and telling the repairman how to fix it and forgot to call the doctor - so if I can't pick my nose in the morning, I guess I better call the doctor.

I had to have a meeting and tests with the pulmonary doctor this week - one of the tests that should have been performed in Houston had my trip not been cancelled because of Presbyterian. Prior to the doctor coming in the nurse came in with her clip board and all the typical questions. She sticks the thermometer in my mouth and starts asking me questions. My weight has dropped a bit so I told her I had my wallet in my pocket last time. My blood pressure is always good so I told her that so she wouldn't have to check it, but she checked it anyway. She then started in on her questions and started with the statement; "I am sorry I have to ask you this - No I am not sorry I have to ask you this, Well really I am sorry I have to ask you this" I am starting to worry about what kind of personal question she is going to ask me. I am prepared to say "NO" - no matter what it is. That is always a good safe answer - I think.

By law - at least in New Mexico - once a year they have to ask you questions about domestic violence so that victims of domestic violence can have an opportunity to open up in a safe environment about this problem. All of a sudden my anticipated "NO" answer changed to a "YES". I showed her the scars on my back, the holes in my nostril from having a ring in my nose so I could be led around, the abuse I took when I forgot to put the seat down in the bathroom, for using a clean towel every day when I took a shower, for using a clean glass every time I took a drink, for not locking all the windows when I left the house. I mean this conversation went on and on forever. As I thought about it later, I was a little concerned. I could just see me driving up to the drive way as the Sheriff was coming out with my wife in handcuffs leading her to his car. Golly - she will problem yell at me about that too. Sometimes - you just can't win.

In addition to my chemo session, we had a little excitement here yesterday. The President of the United States was in town for a brief time. He was here for a fund raiser lunch for our Senator, Pete Domenici. The lunch was hosted by Larry Abraham. Mayor of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, a tiny community surrounded by the city of Albuquerque. We know Larry Abraham because he started his married life by building a two story house right up against our back yard wall so that when we sit on our patio all we see is this slab of adobe that goes straight up into the air. We used to sit on the patio and watch the tram car climb up the Sandia Mountains - a much more enjoyable sight. Our son, Scott, actually helped him build the house and worked for him some. So, some of the people in our neighborhood have advanced to bigger and better things. 350 people had lunch at Larry's house at $1,000 per plate while I was sitting there sucking up chemo.

The other big event is that my dear wife, Mary Marlin, was one of two tellers at her bank yesterday when it got robbed. The robber went to the other teller - which was a lucky break for him. Actually, this is the first time that particular bank has been robbed and it has been around for awhile. However, MM has been through three bank robberies - and in one she was the teller they tried to rob. When she will take on a bank robber - you have to understand why I had to open up with the nurse when she talked about domestic violence.

I am already dreading my next - and hopefully last, chemo session. I am thinking if I feel this bad because of the chemo - how am I going to feel following surgery? Maybe I will just go back to picking potatoes and forget the whole thing. Presbyterian would like that!

God Bless You

AL

TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE - SUCH A DEAL!

Today we are going to have two separate blogs in one because of two entirely different subjects. The first will deal with a fabulous weekend we just had.

This one involves a weekend visit from my Brother-In-Law, Les Hawker and his wonderful wife Donna, from South Charleston, West Virginia, and at the very same time a visit from my beautiful niece, Holland (Holly to me) and her husband Eric Laurin, from Denver.

The unfortunate and ridicoulous fact of life is that my borther-in-law is a fantastic person and one of the most enjoyable people you could hope to be around. Because of a different society we all live in today, prior to this visit I think I have spent a small portion of a day with him twice in our entire lifetimes. I went back to West Virginia to his and my wife's mother's funeral, and Les and Donna attended the wedding of my son Andrew in Indiana. The lesson should be to remember what is important in life and do those things while you can instead of waiting til life is passing you by and regret not doing the things you should have done.

The second subject is about a very serious topic I have already emailed everyone about but want to remind you again and encourage you to support. I have forwarded an email this past week related to breast cancer, which I had received from a fabulous girl from the Pacific Northwest who has been a friend of mind for some time. I will call her Carolyn - because that is her name, and will tell you that she is one very super lady I would do anything for, but I would promote this subject regardless of who asked me to do it because it is so serious and so important.

Carolyn lived in Albuquerque when I met her and she created a big loss for Albuquerque by moving away. She and I have continued to be pen pals via email since then and I consider her one of my very favorite people.

Speaking of pen pals, I used to have a number of pen pals but they all had numbers on their shirts and wore black and white striped shirts and lived in tiny cages behind bars.
I tell people I had the first cell phone in Albuquerque. Well, I really didn't have the first cell phone, but there was one right outside my cell on the wall. If I pressed my body against the bars and stuck my hand out through the bars I could just barely reach it. The problem is, I would often drop the coins as I was trying to get them into the phone to make my call and they would fall to the floor and roll around out of reach which ended my phone call before I ever made it. The guards would congregate around my cell just to pick up the coins I dropped. I kept the guards in cigarette and beer money just from my failed attempts to make phone calls. Just kidding - I have never been inside a facility of incarceration, at least to the best of my knowledge.

Actually I have been in a jail facility. I went to a small college in Southern Colorado, Adams State College, and we played football against the inmates at the Colorado State Penitentiary in Canyon City. We actually went inside the prison to play football. We were a bunch of seventeen to twenty four year olds playing against a group of men up to age fifty and beyond who were tough gangster type men. To say they kicked our butts would be a gross understatement. Whenever they did something good the convicts in the stands would boo them. When we did something good or injured one of their players, which was seldom, the convicts would stand and cheer. At the end of each quarter of play, we would drag ourselves into a huddle and try to figure out what to do next. They would lay down on the grass and light up a cigarette and just calmly wait for the next battle at the line of scrimmage and activity of slaughter.

WEEKEND WITH RELATIVES IN NEW MEXICO:

Just another unexpected blessing occurred when two sets of relatives came to town this past weekend.

My brother-in-law, Les Hawker, and his wife Donna came in from South Charleston, West Virginia. These folks are plagued by the same thing we are in New Mexico. You say; "West Virginia", and people automatically relate to something they know about in the state of Virginia. It isn't like West Texas which relates to a portion of a giant state. West Virginia is actually a separate state and not a suburb of Virginia. And, of course, all of you know, that even people who are supposedly highly intelligent don't know that New Mexico is a state. I had one man ask if we had a Chamber of Commerce like they have in the United States.

Anyway, Les is a retired chemist and a fantastic individual. He and his wife, Donna, have traveled all over the world and had never been to New Mexico. Maybe they didn't know it was a state and didn't want to wait for a passport to come here. Les is also a very astute student of history and thoroughly enjoyed some history from New Mexico that dates back to the thirteen hundreds.

The night before they were to arrive, I got a call from my niece, Holly, saying that her husband, Eric, had just accepted a job with the Federal Government and was given the option of moving to Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Albuquerque. Naturally, they chose Albuquerque because of me - and maybea few other factors, so we were thrilled to have them come in at the same time that Les and Donna did. Get this - our wonderful Mayor, Martin Chavez, on his own - without anyone asking him to - just spent $8,000.00 of taxpayers money to go to China as he said it would be good for Albuquerque's economy. I got two fantastic professionals to move to Albuquerque without spending any of the taxpayer's money. Holly is a Physician Assistant dealing with children and has already established a great reputation in the Denver area. We are thrilled that they will be living in Albuquerque soon.

The first day, Saturday, we all had a late lunch at the Elephant Bar and Grill in the new ABQ shopping area. If you haven't visited the Elephant Bar, I would encourage you to do so. The atmosphere is great, the food is wonderful and the prices are very reasonable. We then came up to the house and sat around a bit as, especially the Hawkers, were pretty well worn out from only three hours of sleep and a two hour time change.

Sunday we all went up on the longest tram in North America which operates on a continuous cable of 5,000 feet as it climbs almost straight up the mountain from our mile high elevation to over 12,000 feet. I didn't think it would be appropriate to tell them that on a few occassions the wind had blown the car off the cable track and the car was stuck just dangling in the air overnight until a helicopter could come in and lift the cable back onto the track. The wind wasn't blowing on Saturday anyway. At the top you can look down on the city of Albuquerque to the west and down on the chair lift and ski slopes on the east side to the valley on the east side of the Sandia Mountains. Many people who live here don't realize that Albuquerque used to be a huge lake with the waters approaching the top of the Sandia Mountains going all the way North up into the San Luis Valley of Colorado. We have used a lot of water over the last few years. No wonder the Mayor wants everyone to use low water flush toilets. I go nuts when I go back East and you see tall trees on each side of the road and have no idea of what is on the other side of those trees or how to get there. Donna was amazed at how flat everything is in Albuquerque and how you can see forever and a mile here. Albuquerque really is a beautiful place. You have the history which relates to the Sandia Mountains and the Sangre de Cristo range on one side and the historic volcanoes on the other side with all kinds of history between.

Holly and Eric seemed to be attracted to the city because of the many bike and jogging trails we have all over the city and the ease of getting around with so much less traffic than the Denver area. Obviously, doing my part as a good citizen, I didn't tell them any of the bad stuff about Albuquerque. Is there any bad stuff?

We came down off the mountain and all went to Garduno's Mexican restaurant for some real and very delicious Mexican food. I have to admit that Holly and Eric are acquainted with good Mexican food as there are many good Mexican restaurants in Colorado. And, Les and Donna report that they enjoy good Mexican food in West Virginia. However, my goal is always to have people eat real Mexican food in New Mexico before they ruin their taste for Mexican food by eating a poor substitute in Texas.

After we stuffed ourselves with the best of the best in Mexican food, we went down to historic Old Town and visited San Felipe de Neri Catholic Church on the Old Town Plaza, which dates back 300 hundred years. We visited a few of the shops and they all went to the rattlesnake museum as I sat outside in the shade. I don't want to see a rattlesnake under any circumstances and I am not going to pay to see one. Eric wanted to see the gunfight they have in the streets of Old Town, so we watched a funny skit where several people ended up getting shot, including the Sheriff and two cranky wives - I liked that part. The last stop in Old Town was the Atomic Museum which was very interesting. We went down town and had refreshments at the Flying Star and ended the evening at the Great American Cattle Company with another great meal of some of the best steaks you can get in Albuquerque.

Monday Eric and Holly stayed in Albuquerque to house hunt and the Hawkers followed us to Santa Fe where we once again did the sight-seeing routine including the Church with the miracle staircase, another church which is the oldest church in America dating back to the thirteen hundreds, the oldest house in America which is next to the oldest church, the Palace of the Governors and the Georgia O'Keefe museum. The Hawkers spent the night in Santa Fe and were going to Los Alamos on Tuesday and back to Albuquerque on the Turquoise Trail and on to Arizona on Tuesday.

My chemo therapy limits me to about four hours before running out of gas and hitting the wall, but we spent several days in near 100 degree temperatures climbing stairs, walking, standing around museums and I somehow survived. I can go through a museum in about ten minutes. I look at the displays and pictures and I am out of there. Les and my wife are both very interested in history and they read every word on every plaque and script in each museum, so I had plenty of time to catch my breath between the various stops.

When you live here and go about your daily routine you forget to appreciate what a fantastic place this is and the amazing history in this state. If we could just figure out how to send our politicians to some remote island - or even Texas, we would be an almost perfect state.

BREAST CANCER:

My dear friend, Carolyn, sent me an email which I have forwarded to all of you. But just to reiterate, this is all about breast cancer and proposed changes which are being forced on the unfortunate victims of breast cancer by insurance companies. I am very sensitive to this subject because of my own cancer and my own problems with insurance companies in dealing with my own problem.

I doubt if many can appreciate and understand what a woman must go through when she discovers she has breast cancer. This has to be especially true of men. According to the information I have seen, there can be, and usually is, a tremendous amount of physical pain during and after a Mastectomy. This should be understandable by almost everyone. But in addition to the horrible experience of physical pain, these women must have a tremendous mental anguish and psycological pain which no one but them can understand and appreciate.

Insurance companies have decided they could add to their bottom lines if they could just do the procedure and kick these women out on the street to fend for themselves. They are trying to force a mastectomy into the category of "outpatient procedures" where the women would go in, have the procedure and spend a few minutes coming out from under the anesthesia and go on home - very much like you would a routine colon exam or some other simple procedure. They are sometimes sent home with drainage tubes still attached. Hey - it makes sense! The insurance companies can save a couple of nights expense of hospital stay, and if it makes more money for the insurance companies - it is worth doing. We have drive up service for McDonalds, dry cleaning, liquor purchases and banking - why not mastectomies?

There is a bill called the BREAST CANCER PATIENT PROTECTION ACT which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay. Lifetime Television has put this bill on their Web page with a petition drive to show support. Please go to this site and sign the petition to show your support. Go to;

http://www.lifetimetv.com/breastcancer/petition/signpetition.php


THANK YOU!!!!