CHEMO # 3

Chemo #3 is history - at least the activity of having it. The effects of it will probably linger on for some time. It is lingering hard today. I sure hope I run out of numbers pretty soon. I thought this was going to be the last one - but surprise! I get at least one more.

I spoke too soon after #2. I felt great the next day and went to work. Then I worked Wednesday and Thursday with the intention of leaving early, but as luck would have it, customers came in and I got involved in transactions that lasted up to and past closing time. I think I left work around 10:30 PM on Wednesday and around 9:30 PM on Thursday. Thursday at 9:15 PM I was paged to the front desk for customer service. As I approached the desk an old friend came running up screaming and hugged me. It was Cissy King who used to be the lead female dancer on the Lawrence Welk show. She said she wanted to buy a car. I explained we closed in fifteen minutes so she agreed to come back this week. When other sales associates found out who she was, all the old duffs like me came over right away to meet Cissy King. The youngsters had a strange look on their faces - like - "who the heck is she?" Then I had the big week end of touring Albuquerque and Santa Fe and was pretty well worn out all this past week.

I have been trying to figure out why I feel so lousy after these chemo sessions. Just sitting in a chair for eight hours wears me out, but I realized that for all practical purposes - I am spending eight hours getting poison put into my system. You can feel the effect of this almost immediately and it just gets worse.
I did have a meeting with the doctor this session and he is pleased with my results but surprised that I am even trying to work. He said the protocol I am following is a very heavy duty dose of chemo. I do know I am one of the first ones there and by the time I leave, almost everyone else is gone and some of them come in half way through my session. It creates a real strange sensation for me. I feel guilty for just kind of dragging through the day after I have had the session and procrastinating on doing things I should do, but I really don't have the energy or interest in doing anything. I also feel guilty because I know of people who have had it a lot worse than I am having it. I have heard of people going through chemo for 14 weeks, 17 weeks, 24 weeks, etc. I will go for four - but no more!!

I am still having a battle with Presbyterian. They now say they never approved surgery at MD Anderson, but they have said that at the end of my chemo session if they get a request from MD Anderson for a referral and if my chemo doctor says I should go there, they will consider doing it. My chemo doctor did say that he would report that I do need surgery and that he recommends MD Anderson. MD Anderson has already said this is the only way I have a chance of surviving - so I think I have a pretty strong case. I am going in any event - whether they want to be gracious and pay for it or not. I also have a lawyer lined up who specializes in Medical Malpractice - just in case.

It has taken a lot of time and energy to do battle with Presbyterian in addition to everything else, but I guess that is the way it is going to be. So, I guess I am looking at surgery sometime in October or early November.

Had another little incident with this chemo. I realized there was a funny sensation in my left hand. I looked down and my left hand was swollen to almost double it's size and my left arm was swollen. It looked like I had a boxing glove on my left hand. There was no pain but it looked like my skin would split if the swelling got any greater. I called the nurse over and for some reason the needle had come out of my vein and the chemo was just going directly into my hand and up my arm. It is a good thing I had taken my watch off and transferred it to my right arm before we got started or they would have had to cut my watch off. That would have been another $13.95 down the drain.

Those who know me well and who have noticed, know that I have very large hands. People never come up to me and say; "Golly you are good looking", or "You sure are a handsome man", or that is a "great haircut" or a "beautiful shirt".
Everyone says the same thing - "Damn - those are the biggest hands I've ever seen." This all comes from hard labor as a youngster where I dug potatoes with my bare hands, mined coal with my bare hands, dug trenches with my bare hands, and even ate with my bare hands. At milking time, as soon as I walked into the barn the cows would all take off running. I get criticized and I guess it is against the law, but I drive with my index finger. I just stick it between the spokes of the steering wheel and twirl that wheel around with one finger. So, anyway, I have huge hands to begin with and now my left hand is twice it's normal size. I realized I had a problem right away because I normally eat with my right hand and am careful to pick my nose only with my left hand. Now my left hand is swollen beyond the capacity of my nostril - so this means double duty for my right hand. I haven't eaten much today - partly because of the affect the chemo has had on my stomach and partly because I can't eat my normal diet of potato chips and hamburgers and hot dogs without using my hands. You just can't eat potato chips with a spoon or fork. As you can see, there is more to my stress than meets the eye.

My son Scott called today and said it probably wasn't good to have all this chemo just wandering around in my hand and arm and that I should call the doctor. My garage door broke and I got tied up and telling the repairman how to fix it and forgot to call the doctor - so if I can't pick my nose in the morning, I guess I better call the doctor.

I had to have a meeting and tests with the pulmonary doctor this week - one of the tests that should have been performed in Houston had my trip not been cancelled because of Presbyterian. Prior to the doctor coming in the nurse came in with her clip board and all the typical questions. She sticks the thermometer in my mouth and starts asking me questions. My weight has dropped a bit so I told her I had my wallet in my pocket last time. My blood pressure is always good so I told her that so she wouldn't have to check it, but she checked it anyway. She then started in on her questions and started with the statement; "I am sorry I have to ask you this - No I am not sorry I have to ask you this, Well really I am sorry I have to ask you this" I am starting to worry about what kind of personal question she is going to ask me. I am prepared to say "NO" - no matter what it is. That is always a good safe answer - I think.

By law - at least in New Mexico - once a year they have to ask you questions about domestic violence so that victims of domestic violence can have an opportunity to open up in a safe environment about this problem. All of a sudden my anticipated "NO" answer changed to a "YES". I showed her the scars on my back, the holes in my nostril from having a ring in my nose so I could be led around, the abuse I took when I forgot to put the seat down in the bathroom, for using a clean towel every day when I took a shower, for using a clean glass every time I took a drink, for not locking all the windows when I left the house. I mean this conversation went on and on forever. As I thought about it later, I was a little concerned. I could just see me driving up to the drive way as the Sheriff was coming out with my wife in handcuffs leading her to his car. Golly - she will problem yell at me about that too. Sometimes - you just can't win.

In addition to my chemo session, we had a little excitement here yesterday. The President of the United States was in town for a brief time. He was here for a fund raiser lunch for our Senator, Pete Domenici. The lunch was hosted by Larry Abraham. Mayor of Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, a tiny community surrounded by the city of Albuquerque. We know Larry Abraham because he started his married life by building a two story house right up against our back yard wall so that when we sit on our patio all we see is this slab of adobe that goes straight up into the air. We used to sit on the patio and watch the tram car climb up the Sandia Mountains - a much more enjoyable sight. Our son, Scott, actually helped him build the house and worked for him some. So, some of the people in our neighborhood have advanced to bigger and better things. 350 people had lunch at Larry's house at $1,000 per plate while I was sitting there sucking up chemo.

The other big event is that my dear wife, Mary Marlin, was one of two tellers at her bank yesterday when it got robbed. The robber went to the other teller - which was a lucky break for him. Actually, this is the first time that particular bank has been robbed and it has been around for awhile. However, MM has been through three bank robberies - and in one she was the teller they tried to rob. When she will take on a bank robber - you have to understand why I had to open up with the nurse when she talked about domestic violence.

I am already dreading my next - and hopefully last, chemo session. I am thinking if I feel this bad because of the chemo - how am I going to feel following surgery? Maybe I will just go back to picking potatoes and forget the whole thing. Presbyterian would like that!

God Bless You

AL