Chemo - New Mexico Style

I had my first New Mexico chemotherapy session on July 30th and have my next one coming up on Monday the 13th. I can hardly wait! Have been giving a lot of thought to going AWOL - (Al Wants One Less - or - Al Wants Only Liquor - or - Al Wants Only Love) - but Al don't want no more chemotherapy, How can they even consider having chemo and therapy combined into one word. Isn't therapy supposed to be some kind of act or action that make you feel good? Maybe it will make me feel good somewhere down the line, but it is going to make me miserable til I reach that point in life.

You always think of anything done in New Mexico as having either red or green chili attached to it. I kinda expected some chili flavor to be mixed in with the chemo, but no such luck. However the after affects in my tummy make me think I ate a whole bushel of chilies raw.

Actually New Mexico Oncology is a first class place and they do a fine job. It just isn't what I am used to after being down to MD Anderson. There, everything is very systematized and professional. The Land of Enchantment is a little laid back by comparison.

In Houston I spent two weeks doing chemotherapy and radiation at the same time. I would take three chemo pills in the morning, go to the hospital and get zapped by the radiation gun, and then 3 more chemo pills in the evening. It ended up ripping me apart, but it didn't take long to do it.

In New Mexico they have their own system. It is a 7 1/2 hour session just for chemo. They give you a little sheet with instructions and suggestion to make your experience pleasant. The only way it could be pleasant is to stay home and not show up. They suggest that you bring reading material, your MP-3 or I-Pod, you can even bring a DVD and if you don't have one the will loan you one but you have to give them your drivers license as security. Half the people driving cars in New Mexico don't have a drivers license. I guess that accounted for all the people just sitting there staring off into space. they have pillows but you can bring your own if you want. The have snacks but you can bring your own. They warn you that the chemo room is kept cool, so you might want to dress in layers. I could just see me there as the day progressed doing a strip one layer at a time - no thanks. But, I did bring a jacket which I never put on.

I got there at 8:00 am as ordered - a terrible time of day to be anywhere, especially for a session of torture. First thing I saw was an older man (older to me is really old) who was pulling his little oxygen tank, had what appeared to be two pieces of carry on luggage, two pillows and a blanket. He looked like one of those people who camp out under the interstate underpasses - or maybe he was going to complete all sessions at one time. There was a wide variety of people accumulating in the lobby within just a few minutes. For a second I thought I was in the Greyhound bus terminal. I have to admit, I had my little canvass bag which really did a number on my macho ego. I was just like everyone else. I couldn't make up my mind which book I would want to read, so I brought four. Then I didn't know if I would want trail mix, peanut butter and crackers or peanuts, so I brought them all - just like everyone else. Oh, I did bring the jacket - one with a hood in case it rained. I had a little argument with my wife - she wanted to stick an egg salad sandwich in my little bag. I was horrified - what if someone saw me with an egg salad sandwich? I already felt like a little boy going to the bus stop headed for first grade.

I was in bad shape to start. I worked the night before and then stopped off with some friends for awhile and got home tired. All night long I kept worrying about getting up in time to be there on time. This happens anytime I have to be someplace early in the morning. I think I ended up getting about three hours of sleep, so I was on the grumpy side when I got there.

First order of business is to suck blood out of your body. The nurse kept putting one more vile on the needle until I was about a quart low. Then they send you into the chemo room. This is a very large room with 25 to 30 recliner chairs and a bed or two. Everyone is assigned to a chair and I got the worst one in the room - wouldn't you know it. Right away this nurse comes up with this metal tree on four wheels. She sticks the needle in the top of your hand and attaches a tube which is attached to several different bags. One is water, one chemo and I think the other was desert. I knew right away there was no chili as the bags were all clear fluid. She then said; "Now we have to get a little blood." Hold on sister, you already took all I can spare.
Once I convinced her I had already been bled, she left and then she was back right away again. She said the first nurse didn't get the right amount or do the right tests or something - so we got to do it again. Three hours of sleep, no blood - I was almost dead already and we hadn't even started.

So finally, we start the treatment. Each patient is allowed to have one visitor - it said so on the sheet. I was trying to navigate my little bag of goodies with one hand because the other was tied up to this metal tree and this also made it very difficult for me to move too much. I was going to decide which book to read and decided to high light those parts that turned me on. I dropped the highlighter on the floor. That was just the beginning of things I dropped on the floor. It's kind of like when you come home and you have four sacks of groceries in your arms and your house keys in your teeth and carefully lower your head to a point where your out-stretched fingers are wiggling around for the keys, and then you drop the keys on the ground.

Finally I got situated and just grabbed a book out of the sack at random - and they put a new patient right next to me. Next came his wife, then daughter #1, then daughter #2, then daughter #3, and finally daughter #4. Each one of these wonderful people had their own cell phone. They spent the whole day there and I don't even know why the came. They spent the whole day talking to other people who were not there on their cell phones. I am getting a bad headache. I couldn't concentrate on reading a book no matter how hard I tried. I started a brand new book and suddenly realized I was on page three - and had no idea what I had read.

Oh, Oh - things are starting to work. One of the sacks was a one litre sack of water type fluid which was to protect my kidneys from the chemo. It makes you need to go to the bathroom. So, I take everything out of my lap and kind of dump it on the floor, bring the recliner to an upright position and struggle to pull myself out of the chair. Now this tree with all the chemo equipment on it has a cord they plug into an outlet on the wall. My chair is up against the wall, the tree is on my left side, all my little goodies are on the floor on my right side and I have to maneuver the tree around the chair, all my goodies on the right side of my chair, go clear around a corner on my right side to unplug the cord. Wait - I can't get the tree to go around the chair from the left side to the right side because the cord isn't long enough. I can't move my left arm because this tube is attached to it. I gotta figure out how I am going to get the tree around the chair so I can go around the corner to unplug the cord. I must have really looked hopeless - a patient in the next row said: "Hey Boss - sit still. You ain't never going to make it." He got up out of his chair and unplugged my cord which was directly in front of his chair. Why was my plug in front of his chair and clear around the corner on the wrong side from my chair?

Once I got my cord loose I started off to the bathroom. These trees have tiny little wheels so at each crack in the tile they catch and seem like they are going to tip over. You have one arm and your holding onto the tree and pushing it and trying to keep it from tipping over and you carefully ease your way towards the bathroom. Wait a minute - I got a whole damn family sitting in a semi-circle between me and the bathroom. I have to work my way through all the chairs or people talking on the cell phones. You get to the bath room and you have to turn completely around because you only have one free hand and it is on the wrong side to grab the bath room door. You end up doing a slow waltz with this metal tree just trying to close the bathroom door. There is a clear plastic container hanging on the wall with your name on it. You are supposed to go in there so they can measure how much your kidneys are getting rid of. I never thought of this - how do you do this little deed in the first place, much less while you are holding this little plastic container - with one hand? One of the most embarrassing moments in my life I am sure. You know that if you miss everyone will know by just looking at the front of your pants when you walk out of the bathroom. Oh my God!!! Talk about stress!

This was the first of about ten trips to the bathroom. The nurse said she was going to start calling me "European" - like I needed a comedian at this stressful time of my life. I think people started feeling sorry for me. One lady across from me asked me what my name was. When I told her she closed her eyes and brought out her beads and started praying for me.

Then my wonderful son, Scott, and his beautiful wife, Sheri, stopped in to see me and brought me a sandwich. Now I had scalded my hands every trip to the bathroom but at this point I didn't want to touch anything that was going to go into my mouth. But, I could see they weren't going to leave until I ate my sandwich, so with the paper carefully wrapped around it I ate the sandwich. Actually at this point I was not hungry for anything anyway. All this other stuff they were injecting into my body kind of destroyed my appetite. That sandwich was the only thing I ate all day long and ended up getting it all over my shirt and pants. Now I know how a dog feels when he can't use his hands to eat.

They gave me two different chemicals, so when the first bag was empty they put on another bag. Would make a lot of sense to use chili. The first bag could have been red and the second green. It got to the point where I was looking down at my watch every thirty seconds or so trying to urge the time to progress more rapidly. Finally I glanced down and the tube that was carrying the chemical down my arm into my body was bright red. I looked up at the chemo bag and it was kind of a watery red. I guess the nurse noticed it about the same time as she came running over. Something went wrong and my blood was backing up into the chemo bag. She shut the machine down and tried to reverse it but there was a clot in the tube. She was afraid the clot would go into my blood stream so she started ripping the tube off my arm. Now this tube was taped down to my arm. I didn't have a lot of hair on my arm - but now I don't have any.

Then they decided I had not discharged enough of the force fed water from my kidneys, so they gave me another shot - some kind of diuretic. She didn't have the needle out of my arm but I had to go - like right now. I ran across the room half carrying my little metal tree. I got back and sat down and I had to go again. I did this at least half dozen times. I am totally worn out by now and ready to go home. "Wait a minute - we better check your oxygen level." Oxygen level was way too low. What did they expect, I was half dead by now. So, they put an oxygen mask on me and made me sit there until my oxygen level came up. When she wasn't looking I started taking deep breaths in through my mouth to bring the level up. Finally she came at a time when I had sucked up enough air to bring the level to the minimum.

They finally let me go eight hours after I started. The nurse had the nerve to say; "We'll look forward to seeing you again on the 13th." Don't count on it lady!

While the combination of radiation and chemo in Houston was really tough, this one wasn't any picnic either. For the next couple of days I was totally drained and it has hung on for most of the two weeks. I will get a spell where I feel great and go out and work or do something else and in about four hours I am drained again. Don't know what to think for sure about all this modern day medical treatment. One thing for sure, you want to take care of yourself and stay well so you don't ever have to go back through this again.

Gotta start resting up - only six days before I get to go back!

AL