OPERATION - "OPERATION" (?)

Whenever the FBI or CIA or even the Sheriff's office has any kind of a major activity or event - they call it an operation. They don't just say; "The FBI had an activity last Saturday night and arrested 100 people and confiscated ten tons of drugs". No Sir - it was an operation! I guess this means it was a coordinated event involving a lot of people who all hoped for the same outcome - or something like that. Therefore, in my opinion - my operation is entitled to be referred to as an "Operation". If we were in a Military setting right now we could be talking in code with great secrecy and suspense about - "OPERATION - OPERATION".

HA! - There is certainly nothing very exciting about my operation. We have been discussing my cancer since we fist started going down to Houston in May and you folks have held my hand and kind of led me through this frightening part of life with your love and support. You have all been so very special and important to me as we added one step or phase to the last one. Finally the day did come for the operation and I guess we need to share this event then close the book on this chapter of my life.

I have been a little reluctant to even talk about this last part for several reasons. First, I now realize that many folks - including some of you, have had issues in your lives - including medical issues, that have been so much more severe and challenging than mine. This makes me understand and appreciate how kind you have been to me but also makes me feel like a big wimp for even talking about my issues.

Another problem about talking about the operation is that I wasn't there! Well, of course I was there, but I don't remember squat about the event. I could have been on a trip to the moon for all I knew. I do believe that family members who are close to me took advantage of this opportunity to conspire against me with all the rules and regulations the doctors supposedly passed on to them to enhance my well being during recovery. Like - get up each morning - put hand-cuffs on patient, give stale dry cereal for breakfast and warm brown water (coffee substitute) for nourishment. Convince patient that he would rather listen to gospel music than watch football on TV. Continuously remind patient that he is not allowed to drive automobile for at least another two weeks leaving him with a feeling of helplessness.

It is true I don't remember much and what I do remember is possibly not accurate. I remember going into surgery at night. My son, Scott, remembers taking me in at 5:00 am for surgery and I am sure he is correct.

This was a major surgery with lots of cutting and sewing and clamping etc. This also included a lot of drugs - morphine, codeine and other pain medicines. I have never been through anything like this before and I didn't like it too much. All of a sudden you are dealing with events that are in your mind but are not real. They seem so real it is really a shock when you finally find out it isn't real.

I believe the surgery was around ten hours and they removed a good part of my small intestine and some other parts that seemed to be unnecessary and clamped me back together. I was in intensive care for a couple of days then put in with the main population.

When I was moved into my own room, I mentioned to my Doctor the weird and frightening experience I had in the surgery room. I told him it seemed so real that I was shocked. It was like a dream - I dreamed I was in a nice grey pin striped suite - which I know I was not. I am sure you have seen the heavy duty packaging tape that is like clear plastic and reinforced by little strands of wire or thread to make it stronger. I remember my hands being bound together at the wrist with this tape and I remember twisting and trying so hard to break loose from this tape. I remember hearing voices in the next room and yelling out; "Help me!" and, "Can you hear me?". over and over again. I remember yanking at a hose about three feet long and pulling that hose out of my nose.

As I explained all of this to the doctor he just smiled at me and was very patient and kind. I was embarrassed and apologized and told him I hoped I had not caused any kind of a problem with this wild dream. He very kindly and gently said; "That's okay - don't worry about it. It happens sometimes - you didn't know what to expect." I said; "You don't mean that I actually did and said those things!" He just said - "It's okay - don't worry about it." I guess proof that this actually happened is evident by a big chunk that is missing out of the top part of my left nostril when I pulled the hose out of my nose.

I was moved into a private room where I spent something like the next 20 days. MD Anderson is a nice, new, modern facility which probably has everything that anyone one else has and then some. It is still a hospital room! I was in a lot of pain for the first week and Scott actually stayed there and slept in a chair several nights and then Mary took over and stayed for several nights. - I JUST HAVE TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME - MY FAMILY IS SO WONDERFUL AND HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR ME AND WORKED SO HARD TO HELP ME BEAT THE CANCER RAP. I AM SO VERY, VERY LUCKY AND LOVE ALL OF THEM SO VERY ,VERY MUCH! This includes all members of my family. My sons, John Leslie in Dallas and Andrew down in Florida, were not able to physically be in Houston for most of this process, but their abundance of love, care and concern was felt and appreciated. My dear 94 year old Mother, my brother, brother-in-law, sister-in-laws, cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts, grandchildren - everyone of you was more powerful medicine than anything they did on the operating table or anything they could put in a bottle.

At the hospital I continued to have these very real dreams that really shook me up when I realized what was happening. I would be having a very pleasant conversation with someone I knew and it was so real - it was like they were sitting right in front of me. The conversation would reach a point where I would need to take some physical action - give them a business card, write a check, get their address, etc. I would start feeling around on my lap on my chest - anyplace for what I was looking for and suddenly open my eyes to a pitch dark room with no one in it but me. That is really freaky! It really did upset me when this would happen because of the immediate confusion it would cause for me.

(I did come up with one fairly reasonable theory. Because I had such a few friends when I was younger - maybe this is a way to invent friends I could not have had otherwise just to compensate for this lack of love and friendship in the past.)

At the hospital we would be awakened at least six to eight times each night to check blood, oxygen, heart rate, tire pressure or anything else they could plug into. It was hard to get to sleep in the first place and then they would peek through the door and as soon as you closed your eyes, "Okay - Mr. Hurt, we need to check your blood." "But someone else just checked it - you passed them in the doorway as you were walking in. My blood is tired - it needs some sleep."

In our spare time when we were not having our blood checked, they wanted us to exercise. I have something like 40 staples in my stomach, my back hurts, I am having conversations in my room with people who do not exist - and they want me to exercise! The exercise routine was to walk laps. There is this big nurses station right in the middle of the floor with patient rooms all the way around it. We were supposed to take our little tree with the tubes and wires and push this little tree around in this circle to get our exercise. I had a little trouble with this until I started pretending it was a NASCAR event and my car had to pass everyone else. Once I got a little competition involved it made it more interesting.

I proved you can never be too careful. If you aren't careful, one of these days when you least expect it, something will jump up out of the bush and bite you. Example; Some years ago for some event - maybe Christmas - my wife bought me some slippers. Now these aren't just any ordinary slippers - they are bright red fuzzy slippers. Looks like I have a bright red baby lamb on each foot as I stroll down the hall. Whenever I got this gift I quickly decided it was no big deal. I never wear slippers anyway, so I could just kind of slide these someplace where they would not exist and this would be easier than trying to have a discussion about why real men do not wear bright red fuzzy slippers. Little did I dream at the time that one day these bright red slippers would end up in my suit case headed for the hospital where I would be wearing them in front of everyone.

It is bad enough that everyone has to look at the open back side of your nightgown while you are doing your laps, but to call every one's attention to it with your red slippers is way too much. I am out there trying to win a race and this one guy from Jacksonville , Florida kept un-nerving me with comments about my red slippers. I just came here for a little operation, now I need counseling for this personality defect I have discovered.

The last week of October I was released from the hospital to the Rotary House Marriott which is just across the street from MD Anderson. Went in on 27th and had the balance of the staples removed and was released to come home on November 1st. That was a tough day - just packing for a trip, getting the tickets, boarding passes, rental car, suitcases, etc - is a choir. Mary had to do all of this by herself as I was ordered not to lift anything more than three pounds. It was a super tough day for her as she moved around like the energizer bunny. Lots of bumps on the streets, to the airport, on the runway and even in the sky - made trip pretty rough for me. I did spend almost all day Friday in bed and am still hurting, but it will get better.

One final note for those of you who have known me for awhile. Night before last I weighed in at 203 pounds. That is what I weighed in high school! I was right at 250 to 260 when I started this journey in May. I looked in the mirror the other night and just couldn't figure it all out until I realized that the big bulge I was used to seeing on the front of my shirts was not part of the pattern. That bulge was created as the shirt slid down over my front side. Now it is straight up and down from chin to belt. Isn't that exciting? NO! Now I see this old man with all this loose skin who looks like a scare crow. Just can't seem to win!

I will be back in touch - don't know when or how - but do once again thank each and every one of you for making my life enjoyable and worth living because of your friendship.

AL

FINALLY - IT'S ALL OVER - I AM A SURVIVOR!!

Thank God for everything good in my life and especially the past eight months during this battle with cancer. As I look back over these months there are maybe a thousand different stories - some very short, that have meant much to me and from which I have learned so much about myself and life in general. In the next few weeks as I sit around doing nothing,I will share some of these stories with you. I have said many times that I have been so abundantly blessed in so many ways that I almost feel the disease of cancer was in itself a blessing to me as it became a tool to wake me up to so many things I was ignoring or neglecting. One of the most recent blessings came yestereay when I had my final review with the doctors at MD Anderson. First, my operation was a great success and all cancer has been remvoed from my body at this time. Second, all of the signs and indicators for a very successful recovery are present. And, most important, I learned for the first time ever that MD Anderson only accepts 7% of all applicants for this surgery and I was lucky enough to be one of the few that was accepted.

I have learned that every day is a new day with new surprises, and while some of these surprises may seem to be disappointments on the surface, they are often new opportunities and joys which have just been disguised as disappointments. If we face these events in a positive manner and accept them we soon find they were not designed to be disappointments but blessings.

Yesterday was the final day at MD Anderson. We have checked out and are now in the hotel for the balance of the week. We go back on Friday for a final examination and then back to Albuqueruqe on Saturday or Sunday. I won't be doing much as their recovery program calls for one week of recovery for every day in the hospital, which in my case will mean around 15 to 16 weeks of recovery. I will be pretty well limited during this time as I am on a strict diet and no heavy activity (no lifting of anything more than five pounds). For once I am seriously listening to the instructions as I do not want to go through what I have just been through again. In any event, I will be getting more blog entries out within the next few days to bring you up to date.

Thanks to all of you who blessed me with your thoughts and prayers. My apologies for not responding to those of you who wrote or called. I was pretty much out of it for the past couple of weeks.

I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!!

AL