UPDATE ON HEALTH ISSUES AT HURT HOUSEHOLD

Mary marlin is doing great in her recovery from surgery for hip replacement. It wasn't too long ago that she was shuffling around with a walker. She graduated to a cane and now gets around the house often without even the cane. She takes it easy and goes where she has some support of a table or counter or wall, but she has become much more active at just walking without any kind of support.

At first I was doing almost everything for her because she just couldn't do it herself. I had to lift her leg up into bed, she couldn't get the utensils out of the cupboard to fix herself something to eat, do the laundry or just about anything. But she is proud and independent and she just keeps trying and as soon as she can do something for herself, she won't allow me to help her with it or do it for her. She has faithfully gone to rehab and worked hard at getting better. I know at times she is in pain, but she doesn't ever complain about the pain and refuses to give in to it. I admire her and respect her a lot for what she has accomplished and for her attitude of independence.

One thing she can't do, and it frustrates her, is bending over to pick something up off the floor. She has a tool - a grabber - she can pick things up with if the grabber can get hold of it. But something like a sheet of paper, or a plastic card - like a credit card or driver's license, she just can't pick up. I think it will be a long, long time - if ever, before she can pick those things up off the floor. She dresses herself, including putting on her shoes and socks with the grabber.

We still have one area of conflict. It brings me back to the days when we had a teenager in the house. She wants to drive. I think we are going to need to take some time to go around the neighborhood and practice putting on the brake without any warning and pushing down hard on the brake pedal. It is her right leg which is damaged and that is the brake leg. In Albuquerque you need to be prepared to put on the brake quickly and hard. It seems you can get a drivers license in New Mexico by simply buying a box of ceral. The license is in the bottom of the box.

I have kind of learned that some of us guys don't give our ladies nearly enough respect. We take what they do on a daily basis for granted and even expect it. Let me tell you - what they do just runnng the household is a very tough and trying job. For those who work outside the home in addition to running the house - it's amazing! If you aren't happy with the condition of the house and the way things are done, let me suggest you offer to take care of everything for even a week. Fix meals, wash dishes, wash clothes, put things away, dust, keep the house clean and pretty, shop, etc., etc. This will help you appreciate what they accomplish on a daily basis. It is easy to think that we have a "real" job while all they do is sit around the house. The house job is as tough as most of our so called "real" jobs and they get little if any financial reward for it - often not even a "Thanks". And, of course, many of them have a "real" job in addition.

I think she felt sorry for me, and I think she was also concerned about the sorry job I do of keeping the house in order, so she surprised me by hiring a girl to come in and clean the house once a week. I did try really, really hard, and in my eyes I was doing a pretty good job. In fact I was rather proud of my accomplishments. But when she told me she ws going to get a girl to come in and help out - I had to try real hard to contain my joy. That was the best news I had heard in a long time. But it backfired on me. She got real strict with me - almost demanding, about me cleaning everything up real good because she didn't want the cleaning lady to come in and see the house in a mess. I thought we were getting the lady to take care of the mess. She even made me mow the front yard. So my elation was soon destroyed as I learned that I had to do an especially good job of cleaning so the house would be all nice and clean for the cleaning lady. I do have to admit - even after my super thorough cleaning job, the cleaning lady had enough to do to keep her busy all day.

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Our oldest son, John Leslie in Dallas, continues to have his ups and downs. I understand what he is going through to some extent as the chemo therapy just about wiped me out before it was all over. I guess the chemicals accumulate in our system and towards the end you have all of these strange chemicals that have been absorbed into your whole body. It is difficult to describe how it affects you and how you feel unless you have gone through it. But - it aint no fun!!

He has days, usually after his chemo therapy, where he can't even get out of bed. Then within a few days he will be out with the kids at a ball game, going to work and doing a pretty normal routine. I think he has suffered some from depression too, and I am familiar with that as well. However, I have been able to have fun with the whole routine I went through because I do see so much humor in the things that occur each day. I have also been able to see some good that comes from this whole processs. I hope he can adjust his thinking a little to accept this whole thing a little better. It isn't fun and I will be the first to admit it is a lousy experience, but there are so many who have it so much worse - I can't complain too much. We have both been very blessed and very lucky compared to so many others.

He did have another PET scan and it appears the results were very favorable. It appears the tumor has shrunk and it indicates there are no cancer cells in the tumor at this time. He has developed a pretty constant cough and they did find a spot on his lungs. He has never smoked in his life, so it has to be something else. They think it is caused by the chemicals he is getting so they are changing some of them.

To add to his stress, someone stole his pickup truck from in front of his house the other night. Going through treatment for cancer - or any disease is bad enough but it is the issues outside your health problem that can really get you down. Life goes on and the outside worled doesn't know and really doesn't care how lousy you feel. You still have to pay your bills, deal with the government, all the people out on the street and at work. You are not exempt from real life.

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I am scheduled to go back to MD Anderson in Houston next month. I am hoping I will get a letter in the mail today from Presbyterian allowing me to go. Otherwise we will be engaging in another conflict which just adds to the difficulty of this trip. The worst part of the conflict is not knowing whether or not they are going to allow the trip. It just adds to the stress of something that is already stressful enough.

This trip is supposed to include all kinds of tests, probably including another CAT scan to see if all the cancer cells are still gone, which obviously I hope will be the case. The tests are to not only to determine the presence or absence of cancer, but to measure my overall health and my ability to withstand another surgical procedure. Assuming all tests including lab reports and evaluations from the internal medicine people are okay, I will return to Houston for more surgery on October 21st. (Almost exactly one year since my cancer surgery) This surgery will be to repair a pretty massive hernia at the site of the cancer surgery. The worst part of this will be the recovery period where I will probably not be able to do much physically. In fact, that is probably one of the main reasons I have the hernia to begin with. I think that once in awhile I might have cheated a little on the activities that were allowed following the cancer surgery. There were certain things I was not supposed to do. I think I accidently did a few things or made a few minor exceptions to the rules on the basis of; "It probably won't hurt if I lift this one time, or lift the tailgate on an SUV one time" Guess what - it not only hurt, it has kept on hurting. It is really painful all the time right now. Guess I showed them - didn't I!

I missed my class reunion and a big family reunion last year while I was having cancer treatment and surgery. Some really super people - old classmates of mine, Jackie and Glen Edwards, have been working hard to put together another class reunion which will include five classes. I was so looking forward to this and was just short of guaranteeing I would be there. The reunion is on the 4th of October in my home town of Center, Colorado, and I have to be in Houston first thing Monday morning the 6th. There is, from a practical point of view, no way I can make this reunion.

After all, there aren't that many 747 jetliners landing in Center, Colorado with it's population of less than 2,000 people these days. I guess I could take the Wells Fargo Stage Coach to Espanola and hitch hike to Albuquerque to catch a plane. Actually, Jackie Edwards offered to get me a ride to Alamosa the morning of the 5th to catch a plane home, and I could fly out of Albuquerque. But that would be cutting it way to close and I always have a zillion things to do before I go down to Houston, and I am always pretty stressed out before I go down.

I really feel bad about missing this reunion and visiting with old friends and class mates. I feel real bad because I know that Jackie has done a tremendous amount of work and put a lot of effort into this project and I hate to let her down. I really needed to go to the class reunion as I am a guy with little or no class to begin with. Maybe it would have helped!

I had thought about trying to reschedule the appointments in Houston but it has taken several months just to get this appointment. Everything has to be coordinated with the surgeon's schedule and this is when he can see me - so I guess I better show up.

One of the things that has made it tough the past six or seven weeks is dealing with appointments. I need to get Mary to physical therapy three times a week, then pick her up and bring her back home. She has other appointments with her primary care doctor, her surgeron, lab work, x-rays, prescriptions, etc. In addition, I have another list of doctors I am supporting financially plus my CAT scans, lab work, coumadin clinic and more prescriptions. It is almost a full time job going to the doctor. In addition I am trying to work and put some effort into my own insurance related business. I had appointments with three different doctors just for myself one day recently. Almost all of my doctors are in the same facility and I had three appointments one week and none of these people could see me on the same day. I had to make appointments for three different days and make three seperate trips. Just the gas alone to make all these trips can be a challenge. I guess the only cheap gas you can get any more is that which you get from eating a chili dog. The hot dog and the bun plus a splash of chili is still not that expensive.

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There has been an ulterior motive for Mary to work so hard to regain her mobility after surgery - without complaining. She had already made up her mind that we were going to go to Florida in September to see our youngest son, Andrew, and his family. That was her carrot and I guess it worked. We just got back after spending a week with Andrew and his wonderful wife, Maria and daughter Mary.

We had a great time and were busy every minute. We had plenty to eat and some wonderful food, including alligator tail. Pretty good stuff and if you should go down to Melbourne, Florida and run into an alligator without a tail you will understand the reason.

We took a couple of tours of the waterways and saw a multitude of multi-million dollar homes, most with yachts and/or other big boats at their private docks plus a number of dophins and all kinds of birds. Andrew and Maria have a beautiful home with a swimming pool on Satellite Beach which is two big bridges away from Melbourne on an island near Coco Beach.

We spent a day at Kennedy Space Center where they launch the space ships and shuttles. Andrew and I tried our hands at being astronauts in a shuttle simulator. It is supposed to give you the sensations the astronauts experience as they prepare for launch. You are elevated into a position which is supposed to simulate laying on your back for take off and then it shakes and vibrates and roars as you see massive orange flames and clouds of smoke out the window. It reminded me a lot of my 1948 Ford I had in high school. We viewed the actual launch site and numerous exhibits. One interesting fact is the crawler that takes the shuttle to the launch site. I believe it travels at about two miles per hour on cleats like a caterpillar tractor except they are much larger. Each cleat weighs one thousand pounds and the crawler gets 46 yards per one gallon of diesel.

Inside the exhibit room, my wife and I have a little different protocol. I go in and look at the displays and pictures and I am out of there. She reads every word on every plaque and really learns a lot. From my point of view - a picture is worth a thousand words - just show me the picture.

We went to Orlando to Universal Studios and saw a performance of The Blue Man Group and it was fantastic. I had heard a little about this group but wasn't really impressed until I saw it in person. I would highly recommend it to anyone.

This trip was good medicine for both of us and it was great to see Andrew, Maria and Mary. Now the plan is for me to work every day between now and the surgery and then on with the surgery and recovery period. I guess my surgeon for the cancer will start the operation and then a plastic surgeon will take over. The new cars are all made of some form of plastic - so, why not me? At least I can stop worrying about rusting whenever I take a shower!

So long for now -

Albuquerque Al